Monday, April 19, 2010

It’s Not Writer’s Block –

Although the last time I blogged was March 21st. and the last time I wrote was March 31st.

It’s Not a Mid-Life Crisis – although I did celebrate a birthday and I turned 51.

It’s Not Spring Fever…Although for the first time ever – Minnesota experienced a March with no snow.

It’s Not Lack of Time – I still have 24 hours in a day and my kids are no longer living at home.

No the only explanation I can find is … Parker’s Butt.

After 40 hours of sitting behind a computer and answering the phone, “Manager’s Office, Christine speaking,” I find the idea of sitting down distasteful. And when given a moment a free time, I hoola hoop, go to Pilates, pluck dandelions, go for long walks and occasionally do enough laundry to get me through another 40 hours of “Manager’s Office, Christine speaking.”

I even paid to have my Aura read, hoping to discover a cure for Parker’s Butt – but the only thing I learned was I’m yellow – very creative…but low on energy – which is the number one symptom of Parker’s Butt.

Now this isn’t the first time I experience Parker’s Butt – a long, long time ago I had a husband and he took one look at me and said, “You know what your problem is?”

Being Young and Naïve, I shook my head, opened my eyes wider and waited for enlightenment.

He voice was steady and sure. “You are afraid of success.”

For many years I thought that I had a strange defect and that I was afraid of succeeding…until the day I realized … I wasn’t afraid of success and I wasn’t afraid of rejection. I wrote and I submitted a number of writing projects – some were accepted and some were not.

Now a person who is afraid of success – would stick all of their writing in a drawer – or on an external hard drive…but not me I was submitting my work – clearly I was not afraid of success…

If my ex-husband had any insight fifteen years ago he would have said, “Honey, the only thing wrong with you…is a little Parker’s Butt.”

If I could park my butt down in a chair – I could write.

So, first thing tomorrow, I’m going to start looking for a cure for Parker’s Butt.

Tonight’s blog was accomplished with the following aids… Big Bowl of Popcorn and Little Glass of Wine.

Tomorrow, I might try Big Glass of Wine and Little Bowl of Popcorn…

Stayed tuned to see how this author cures her Parker’s Butt.

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